What Rituals can a Corpse Perform?

​A child is born covered in blood, grimy is how a life’s beautiful journey begins…
 
He is tonsured, the shorn hair weighed in gold and given to charity, he is proclaimed a Muslim,
His head is immersed in holy water, baptized under gaze of Trinity, he emerges a Christian
Family and friends get together and celebrate the week gone by, after the cut he gets cheered on as a Jew,
A string of rituals follows the tying of the holy thread across his torso, as a 
Hindu he is reborn,
He grows his hair and follows the Guru with devotion, as a Sikh he is now part of the community called Khalsa 
He contemplates on the vagaries of life and takes refuge in the Dharma, he identifies as a Buddhist
 
A great conflict erupts between his various forms, to needlessly prove that one set of rituals is better than the other!
 
The wars result in him covered in blood, grimy can be the way a life might end…